Whiskey, for when the gin isn’t enough

Another issue, when gin just isn’t enough.

Yes, I go to eight o’clock, yes I then had three double G&Ts, and wasn’t the first just a blessing in a glass, that sweet release of getting exactly what you crave that lasts oh so fleetingly yet used to last so long and its all you remember, those long lazy nights with just one. The nostalgia for high long spent and never replicated.

We don’t stop trying

And yet the irony, after feeling anxious all night, only to give in, to find it wasn’t enough. To know you could drink four more and it wouldn’t be enough, to reach for the whiskey to add some spice to things.

What the utter f’n f!

It’s one thing to cave in and get a release, its another to relapse only to discover you need to fall deeper. Doing this alone methinks will be hard, since all I have is the empty echos of a mind in turmoil and a house that echos with no answers save the screams I utter just to break the silence.

Why am I craving a high long passed, an escape that in hindsight seems cemented in my mind as glorious, why is that glory not at the bottom of each glass, yet the promise of it is in the next

This…. is going to be difficult.